I wannnnt. I’ve been slaving away on this Dell for 7 months, and it feels like 7 years. I miss Mac every day.

Red is my color. It just works for me. If I wear it, people compliment me. I need my next computer to be red. Must have. In truth, just a Mac would be an upgrade, but what’s the point of waannnnnt if I can’t breathe it out into the Twittersphere?

Oh, I have a point. I like it too because it reminds me of snow white. And the color? Candy Apple.

Normally, I like to mix it up a bit, but I was very impressed by the indie gooda on offer at Supermarket.

First up- an understated leather wallet that says BAMF without saying it.

Smoking accessories are few and far between, and this cigarette holder confirms the badass status to which you are entitled as a smoker.

Sappy but cool- interlocking promise/wedding/love you rings.

Gotcha! Wedding rings.

Pretty, pretty cleaver necklace.

I’m sorry, what now?

You were saying?

I love subtle threats. A razorblade hoodie, handcuffs dangling from a delicate chain… add these stunning AK-47 ice bullets to the list. Do I even need to expound upon how they’d be better in the bedroom than those clunky cubes?

Oh, my God, this was like, made with my bedroom in mind.  Never mind the “Sweeney Todd” thing, this is the hottest mirror I’ve ever had.  Femme Dangereuse, indeed.

I have a massive passion for historical vice.  I must have seen everything in the Hardcore History series at least twice.  Something about the idea of a history uncovered by accident, not archived on purpose- it’s like a secret we’re sleuthy enough to find out.  Sin in the Second City: Madams, Ministers, Playboys, and the Battle for America’s Soul looks fascinating- a historical view of the battle between wealthy vice purveyors and puritans in one of the naughtiest eras in American history.  From BN.com:

Step into the perfumed parlors of the Everleigh Club, the most famous brothel in American history–and the catalyst for a culture war that rocked the nation. Operating in Chicago’s notorious Levee district at the dawn of the last century, the Club’s proprietors, two aristocratic sisters named Minna and Ada Everleigh, welcomed moguls and actors, senators and athletes, foreign dignitaries and literary icons, into their stately double mansion, where thirty stunning Everleigh “butterflies” awaited their arrival. Courtesans named Doll, Suzy Poon Tang, and Brick Top devoured raw meat to the delight of Prince Henry of Prussia and recited poetry for Theodore Dreiser. Whereas lesser madams pocketed most of a harlot’s earnings and kept a “whipper” on staff to mete out discipline, the Everleighs made sure their girls dined on gourmet food, were examined by an honest physician, and even tutored in the literature of Balzac…

Via the snopes boards, an amazing story of girlpower.  And they escaped with their heads! Thanks, Jonny T!

Dammam, Asharq Al-Awsat- Members of Khobar’s Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice were the victims of an attack by two Saudi females, Asharq Al-Awsat can reveal.According to the head of the commission in Khobar, two girls pepper sprayed members of the commission after they had tried to offer them advice.

Girlfriends, when y’all get your driving rights please come over to the west and smoke a hookah with us.  The shisha’s on me!

…when it’s actually brass knuckles in disguise? I have slightly mixed feelings about this piece- on one hand, I’m wary of women walking around feeling threatened.  On the other hand, well-you know.  This ring is meant to take the place of the old keys-between-the-fingers trick.  Subtle.

Clever pun, right?  This book seems more like a need-to-know guide than a novelty sex book.  I mean, you can’t always be in or near bed when the mood strikes.  But you can usually pull over…

The freak lightning storm that hit Brooklyn zapped my unplugged phone somehow last night, and in the interim I needed a vehicle for textsex.  This handy site can unlock old phones.  Good to know if you’re jonesing for a bit of the old beep-beep-oooohhhh… and you’re stuck for a phone.