How can two things I love combine to create something so horrifying? Via Hack a Day comes this terrifying device that won’t be going anywhere near my Magic Powdered lady garden. Ouch!

[ani niow] built this steam powered vibrator. it has a milled stainless steel shell with a brass motor structure. the motor is a tesla turbine made from a stack of dremel diamond cutoff wheels. this drives an off-center weight to create the vibration. she tested it using a pressure cooker as the steam source. it worked, but became so hot it had to be held using welding gloves. it works just as well with compressed air though.

Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, this is the most amazing hookah pipe I’ve ever laid eyes on. Sleek. Silvery. Grown up. Portable. A conversation piece. Tiny, manageable, and comes standard with two mouthpieces. Like for a date. A sexy date. How lovely… From the site:

But that’s not all, it also comes with an elegant and beautiful carrying bag so you can take it with you to the next dinner party you are invited to and show off your cool. In any case, here’s some tech info you might find relevant and convincing, in case the gorgeous design hasn’t won you over yet:

Body and handle of narghile in solid polished pewter, brilliant nish-Burner made of hi-tech ceramic. Pipe made of aeronautical polyamide treated with Te on.

2 mouthpieces made of culinary standard nacrine (i.e. synthetic mother-of-pearl).

Tongs for tobacco and charcoal - Carrying case.

I am a licensed esthetician. I am, however, not a licensed gymnast. Ergo, I cannot wax my own bikini area. One of my snopes friends mentioned this under the radar product and I was, of course, skeptical. Nair gave me chemical burns rivaling napalm, and waxing by someone else took off more skin than unwanted hair.

You have to jimmy off the cap like a paint can, and the mixing process is kind of scary. Also, since all my spatulas are- well, spatulas- I used the backside of a plastic knife. Which was totally ghetto.

But after the required seven minutes of sitting with a weird, cold paste on my nether regions, Magic Shaving Powder worked brilliantly as advertised and didn’t irritate me at all. Anywhere. As always, Vice Vixen is not responsible for anything you put in or around your hoo-ha, so proceed with caution.

I rarely bare my arms in public due to an unfortunate incident in 11th grade Economics class. But even I get sick of cardigans from time to time, and I am lusting over this adorable little faux-fur stole from Babygirl Boutique. I love the over-the-topness for a dinner date.

Oh, my God, this was like, made with my bedroom in mind.  Never mind the “Sweeney Todd” thing, this is the hottest mirror I’ve ever had.  Femme Dangereuse, indeed.

Courtesy of Edgar Allan Poe, just because I’m in that kind of mood…

ANNABELLE LEE

Author: Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulcher
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me
Yes! that was the reason
(as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In the sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Something about nerds being all revved up is kinda hot. This pinup calendar is for the fanboy in your life. (Or fangirl, if she swings that way.) With regular and *geeky* holidays. Can we get one with nerdy boys, please?

It must know me pretty well, because this is totally something I’d wear.  And after weeks of constantly infiltrating the sidebars of blogs I read with suggestions based on my browsing history, I’m sold on cherry aprons. I give in, okay? Send me two.

I absolutely have to own these amazing bowls.  I didn’t really think bowls could be improved by a stem, but this is genius.  Not only are they aesthetically enticing (bowls!), but the stem is a boon if your mom, like mine, insists you have a hole in your lip.   And it even affords you privacy if you don’t want people’s eyes all over your Boo-Berry.

Something about naughtifying your standard bedtime tales is just very hot.  This collection of erotic fairytales speaks to the princess fantasies every girl has, and probably the dominatrix ones, too.  I want it for the subway.