I wannnnt. I’ve been slaving away on this Dell for 7 months, and it feels like 7 years. I miss Mac every day.

Red is my color. It just works for me. If I wear it, people compliment me. I need my next computer to be red. Must have. In truth, just a Mac would be an upgrade, but what’s the point of waannnnnt if I can’t breathe it out into the Twittersphere?

Oh, I have a point. I like it too because it reminds me of snow white. And the color? Candy Apple.

I don’t nearly hold up to my old three posts a day and two on weekends schedule as much, sorry three readers.

Nowadays, pretty much the Inquisitr gets all my words, and often at the end of the day I have not a word to spare, not even to converse with my family, friends or the man who is ringing up my slurpee, for shame.

One reason I didn’t post for a bit, too, was that my kitten died. Her name was Delilah. She was 7 months old. She escaped out the front door or a window when I was showering and not ten minutes later, we found her dying in the street. We rushed her to the ER vet, on Election Day night, but they were unable to save her. I do like to think that when I picked her up and placed her in the red crate with a little blanket for transport that she could see me when she opened her eyes.

So why am I posting this? Because for some odd reason, Google searches in the Femme Dangereuse household that week skyrocketed around all manner of kitten death, cats getting hit by cars, whether cats should stay inside, and how long it would take to get over the death of a kitten. Getting a new cat didn’t help- she’s not my Delilah and I don’t like her as much. (My kids do.) But anyway, I just wanted my sad little post to come up for someone who may need to know that it’s okay to feel like a person died when your cat died. This is about as bitched up as I get, so cuddle up to this post when you need some love from me ’cause it’s all you’re getting, candy ass.

I always hated internet cat people. What a bunch of losers. I hate looking at pictures of peoples’ cats and I really don’t get the overall cat worship. But my kitten was special, damnit, and I’m not one of those people. All day long when I worked she would sit on my feet. She slept in my bed and brought me things and cried and didn’t eat when we went to Bird-in-Hand for two days. I hate that she was a special, smart and lovely cat and she only got to be here for seven months. She deserved a long life and because my stupid house doesn’t have one functional screen, she died.

I couldn’t break ground with my piddly little square shovel, and marauding dogs next door raised concerns about grave robbery. We buried Delilah at sea in my hometown of Babylon, by the pool:

And below, some of my favorite shots of Delilah, since she deserves a memorial:

Hey, I’m gonna say right off the bat, I don’t like schools. I don’t like em, and I don’t trust em. My kids were happily enrolled in the Teddy McArdle Free School for a year and I can honestly say that it was the only year in all of their schooling they learned anything. They were excited to go to school. Mornings weren’t a struggle. They never played sick. They were excited to learn. The staff was there SOLELY BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE and didn’t just want summers off.

Now, not only do I have to fight the kids to get them to school, I have to fight the school for info. Kids lose stuff easily and schools get mad at parents for this inconvenient factoid. It’s a general household stressor and I really, really disagree with public schooling in general.

>steps off soapbox<

However, as we are bound by state law to utilize them, why the hell aren’t they publishing school calendars online? I urge all of my five readers to go sign up RIGHT NOW like in the Sleep Number bed commercials to get their school into the twenty-first century. And never be surprised by another field day ever again.

Normally, I like to mix it up a bit, but I was very impressed by the indie gooda on offer at Supermarket.

First up- an understated leather wallet that says BAMF without saying it.

Smoking accessories are few and far between, and this cigarette holder confirms the badass status to which you are entitled as a smoker.

Sappy but cool- interlocking promise/wedding/love you rings.

Gotcha! Wedding rings.

Pretty, pretty cleaver necklace.

I’m sorry, what now?

You were saying?

Oh, my God, this was like, made with my bedroom in mind.  Never mind the “Sweeney Todd” thing, this is the hottest mirror I’ve ever had.  Femme Dangereuse, indeed.

So, I moved to Newark.  It’s weird.  I actually seriously dig it here.  I loved and will always love Brooklyn, but Newark is like what I imagine Brooklyn used to be like.  Everything here seems so undiscovered and ignored and just waiting for a bunch of crazy kids to move in and repurpose it in some kind of DIY revolution.  My house is like that.

So I was excited to see this article linked and discussed everywhere this week.  Apparently Newark is turning around.  That would almost be too bad.  Newark’s got so much grit to it but it’s open and …clean in a way Brooklyn isn’t.  I’m 10 minutes from the Holland and 10 minutes from a Target and Wal-Mart in Union.  If Whitey McHipster came over from Brooklyn and priced my ass out I’d be so upset.  All the good ethnic places would be replaced with Tempo Prestos.  And I’d have to listen to douchey  conversations on the Path train.

Hipsters, stay back!

It must know me pretty well, because this is totally something I’d wear.  And after weeks of constantly infiltrating the sidebars of blogs I read with suggestions based on my browsing history, I’m sold on cherry aprons. I give in, okay? Send me two.

Oh, my God, this is the best BK shout out ever- hello, Brooklyn…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw-QdrcIa3U]

Threadless just dropped this funky, girly derby-themed shirt for Halloween.  As always with Threadless, it’s get it while you can.  Really digging the fake movie/comic book vibe.  Too cool!