I wannnnt. I’ve been slaving away on this Dell for 7 months, and it feels like 7 years. I miss Mac every day.
Red is my color. It just works for me. If I wear it, people compliment me. I need my next computer to be red. Must have. In truth, just a Mac would be an upgrade, but what’s the point of waannnnnt if I can’t breathe it out into the Twittersphere?
Oh, I have a point. I like it too because it reminds me of snow white. And the color? Candy Apple.
When I was addicted to smutty HP fanfic, I realized a lot of things about men, women and porn.
Women consume porn just as voraciously as men, but when I queried my male friends about porn, they all seemed to have the same habits, all visual. “I like pregnant women.” “Ghetto asses.” “A sex act best described by the chorus of a saucily named Beatles song.” You know the one. Use your imagination.
But female porn, mainly erotica, seems to be so different because the provocative part is in emotion. Women aren’t getting off on pics of a guy getting off in someone’s hair, it’s more like on a woman vacillating at a very handsome, troubled half-werewolf that turns our cranks.
Which is why the iPhone kindle app is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can get limitless girl porn, and some of it’s free. Waiting too long for the new Sookie Stackhouse novel to hit my iPhone, I discovered the emoporntastic Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost. I plowed through the four of them like a blood-starved half-vampire, and now I’m hunting again. If only it were as easy as “milk milf tits site:rapidshare.com” for us. Women get the short end of the stick here!
How can two things I love combine to create something so horrifying? Via Hack a Day comes this terrifying device that won’t be going anywhere near my Magic Powdered lady garden. Ouch!
[ani niow] built this steam powered vibrator. it has a milled stainless steel shell with a brass motor structure. the motor is a tesla turbine made from a stack of dremel diamond cutoff wheels. this drives an off-center weight to create the vibration. she tested it using a pressure cooker as the steam source. it worked, but became so hot it had to be held using welding gloves. it works just as well with compressed air though.
I know it’s a total departure from the books but it’s still awesome. I loved Lafayette’s speech (if I got a Jew’s chance at a Al-Qaeda rally o’ gettin’ outta here…) and Eric and Bill being gay for each other at the mall and Maryann inspiring an orgy! This is gonna be so good!
Sam’s being a total bitch this season though. I wonder what his deal’s gonna be.
During my extended hiatus, I got totally addicted to True Blood. Like, fixated and obsessed. And part of what’s so damn compelling about that show is merely Alexander Skarsgard. I would be on that like white on rice.
I am a licensed esthetician. I am, however, not a licensed gymnast. Ergo, I cannot wax my own bikini area. One of my snopes friends mentioned this under the radar product and I was, of course, skeptical. Nair gave me chemical burns rivaling napalm, and waxing by someone else took off more skin than unwanted hair.
You have to jimmy off the cap like a paint can, and the mixing process is kind of scary. Also, since all my spatulas are- well, spatulas- I used the backside of a plastic knife. Which was totally ghetto.
But after the required seven minutes of sitting with a weird, cold paste on my nether regions, Magic Shaving Powder worked brilliantly as advertised and didn’t irritate me at all. Anywhere. As always, Vice Vixen is not responsible for anything you put in or around your hoo-ha, so proceed with caution.
