Jack White is as dreamy as ever, and Meg plays guitar!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijh3sUu7kEc]

Jack White ON TV! Tomorrow night, the White Stripes are playing Conan O’Brien. So excited!

• Smoking- In addition to my beloved Djarums, I am also digging these weird Springwater cigs. Smoking is so underrated.

• Trader Joe’s- It’s like someone hosed the place down in awesome and win. Tarte d’Alsace and some two buck Chuck makes you almost feel not-poor for like, fifteen whole minutes. Truffles for under $3. Real instant mash. Natural beauty supplies. If only they added house brand valium and vicodin and staffed it with teenage brits, I’d never leave.

• Queer as Folk reruns on Logo- anyone who hates on touchy touchy boylove needs to watch Brian and Justin dancing at the prom. I can’t think of anything more romantic in the history of romance ever.

• My imaginary boyfriend- is he real? Even I’m not sure anymore but I’ve still never seen anyone cuter. If I’m remembering right.

Leading me to…

• Hitachi Magic Wand- It’s just so powerful, I might have to tell my roommates I use it for old car accident injuries. Every time Boondock Saints is on, my back just starts acting up. Especially during the outtakes.

• Jesus Christ it’s a lion, get in the car! Please, God, let the internets stop producing memes so I can get some sleep.

• Leisurewear- It’s gotten to the point where my one career goal is to be able to wear sexy sweats and sleek sneakers. Career garb is so awful in so many ways, it always feels dirty.

• Jay-Z’s American Gangster- I think this album is gonna give The Black Album a serious run for its money in the long-term. Yeah, I said it. Fucking genius, this is.

• On Demand Programming- why can’t the fuckwits who are responsible for cable make one that fucking works already? I’m paying $3 a month, and I want to watch Hookers at the Point for the sixteenth time. Damn you, iO.

• My car- Newark is so fucking weird- I can leave my easy-to-park-in space and be in the Holland Tunnel in ten minutes. You can’t even get from Tillary Street to the Manhattan Bridge in that amount of time, who knew? Anyway, driving stick in Jersey traffic is scary, but now I have a Beetle again.

• Scrabulous- Eamon playing “VAGINA” for twelve points, shocking only that it came two whole plays into the game.

• Burger King pranking customers- you mean other than serving them Burger King food?

• My toddler versus my prized possessions- this pint-sized terrorist has a knack for destroying electronics and media in seconds, while you’re just trying to form the “nuh” in “no.” Then she manages to turn on the waterworks and make you feel guilty.

• Jack White- sexy, cheeky, mysterious, and tall. Considering all that and the hair, I’d marry him like, right this second.

…these would be it.  Whilst I admire the old-fashioned, high-concept spirit of a collectible like this, the price is a bit high since I paid as much for my 7.1 MP Olympus.  Still, it’s pretty to look at and it makes cool old fashioned pics.

Oh, Jackie,you’re so dreeeemy!

…y u so dreamylicious?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrhUDnIsCUM]

I live in Brooklyn, a place full of eternal adolescents.  A dad and baby with matching mohawks are not an uncommon sight here.  Hammerpress has some awesome artsy prints and rock posters that wouldn’t look out of place in your CB2, Ikea, or Pottery Barn bedecked living room.  And they’re well priced, too.

Why the hell can’t they do this in Brooklyn?  I suggest the Royale on 5th avenue, if you’re listening, White Stripes.  And hang on to the kilt?

Those wily White Stripes, what will they think of next? Classrooms, public parks, city buses, museum-going, spear-throwing, and now, yep, a gig on a bloomin’ boat. Ain’t no venue not good enough for Meg and Jack, oh no…

(rest of the story here…)

Just reminds me of One Fish, Two Fish… On a boat, in a tree, oh Jack and Meg, come play for me!

Jack even rocks The Wheels on the Bus… Sexiest rendition of that song, ever!

From some canuck website…

By 3 p.m., the space between the lanes and the wall was full. First-comers sat in the stylized 1970s plastic benches in front of the lanes. Others sat atop the coat racks, and more packed into the bar overlooking the lanes. At 3:02 p.m., Jack and Meg White appeared from a side door beside the lanes, casually swinging bowling pins and cutting across the lanes to their waiting instruments, followed closely behind by a camera man dressed in the road crew’s uniform of black suit and fedora.

Without a single word to the onlookers, Jack White — wearing his trademark tight red pants and black T-shirt, long mop of hair hanging loosely down — launched into a bluesy rendition of “Red Bowling Ball Ruth.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RnMLCangbQ]

There’s lots of White Stripes news and press this week because of the awesomeriffic Icky Thump. I really dug this article, from the Onion’s A.V. club. I am convinced that Jack White understands creating things and the creative process more than any artist of our generation. And I promise that is the most pretentious thing I will ever say here.

In celebration, a quote from Jack and a picture that is, quite possibly, the awesomest picture that has ever been taken in history. Jack says:

Frank Sinatra was dignified. We don’t have a Frank Sinatra, or a Patti Page nowadays. What do we have? Ashlee Simpson instead of Patti Page! I mean, look at those people - like Paris Hilton! Who are all these skanks, man? Little girls are looking up to these girls, and it’s so gross. Those girls have no dignity at all, and parents are letting their kids dress up like those skanks. But what else have they got? What are the other choices? Somebody had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to play guitar on Lindsay Lohan’s album! She’s another one of those 16-year-old actresses, and she’s making an album! Like, ‘NO!’ Ha ha ha!

And the pic. Jack White. Kilt. >faintsdies<