Hey, I’m gonna say right off the bat, I don’t like schools. I don’t like em, and I don’t trust em. My kids were happily enrolled in the Teddy McArdle Free School for a year and I can honestly say that it was the only year in all of their schooling they learned anything. They were excited to go to school. Mornings weren’t a struggle. They never played sick. They were excited to learn. The staff was there SOLELY BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE and didn’t just want summers off.

Now, not only do I have to fight the kids to get them to school, I have to fight the school for info. Kids lose stuff easily and schools get mad at parents for this inconvenient factoid. It’s a general household stressor and I really, really disagree with public schooling in general.

>steps off soapbox<

However, as we are bound by state law to utilize them, why the hell aren’t they publishing school calendars online? I urge all of my five readers to go sign up RIGHT NOW like in the Sleep Number bed commercials to get their school into the twenty-first century. And never be surprised by another field day ever again.

I am a licensed esthetician. I am, however, not a licensed gymnast. Ergo, I cannot wax my own bikini area. One of my snopes friends mentioned this under the radar product and I was, of course, skeptical. Nair gave me chemical burns rivaling napalm, and waxing by someone else took off more skin than unwanted hair.

You have to jimmy off the cap like a paint can, and the mixing process is kind of scary. Also, since all my spatulas are- well, spatulas- I used the backside of a plastic knife. Which was totally ghetto.

But after the required seven minutes of sitting with a weird, cold paste on my nether regions, Magic Shaving Powder worked brilliantly as advertised and didn’t irritate me at all. Anywhere. As always, Vice Vixen is not responsible for anything you put in or around your hoo-ha, so proceed with caution.

Oh, my God, this is the best BK shout out ever- hello, Brooklyn…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw-QdrcIa3U]

I’ve always been straightforward about my hedonism but love for shoes.  While I love sexy shoes, I cannot deal with foot discomfort.   I found these cute motorcycle boots a week ago and I have not found a more comfortable shoe in my recent memory.  It’s really hard to find a something that looks put together and pretty and doesn’t wound you on a daily basis.  Oh, I love my boots.

It only took me like a week and a half to find a new job!  And it’s at a way more established company!  But I’ve been a little tired lately, so I’ve been quiet.

This fabulous blush stick eluded me for years. I read the reviews on Makeup Alley- get it now before they discontinue it! and then nothing. I scoured every WnW display I passed and saw no version of it. Then, like magic, it reappeared everywhere. I’d heard Coy was the perfect pink blush and was skeptical- blush was never an item I could find in drugstores. But they were right.

Coy is a creamy, highly pigmented, pure pink color that makes you look sweet, alive, and not overly made up. I use it on my lips to provide a neutral base for gloss. It’s been less than a week and this item is elevated to grail status on my vanity table. Don’t try to contour with it (or anything)- just apply a little to the apples of your cheeks and pat it out until it looks natural. Finish with a light dusting of powder if desired. I will never go back to prestige blush again, unless WnW discontinues it. Now, if they’d only resurrect Drac’s Drool- dumb name, perfect berry wash for lips.

Sometimes the naked city can be a bit stifling. Overall, it’s the center of the world and we all know it, but sometimes that can be hard to remember when you’re sweaty and squished on the F train. Or when you need some time alone to talk with someone and everything in the world at your doorstep is just way too distracting.

A few weeks ago, I had a long visit with my super dreamy boyfriend and we needed a quiet place to chill. I saw the glowing reviews at Trip Advisor of the Roxbury and was sold. Because, is teh internets ever wrong? This well styled hideway has luxe details, reasonable rates, friendly owners, and all the quiet you could ever want. There’s an extensive continental breakfast and DVD collection, and the rooms are pimped enough so you’ll never need to leave unless you want to.

Extra props go to the Village Pub in nearby Margaretville. Being total lazy bastards, we napped through regular dinner hours every night. I would have starved to death without their surprisingly delicious burgers and my date tried the chicken cacciatore made from fresh local ingredients for a very reasonable price. Top marks all around. Some pics:

I am on an eternal quest for comfortable, adorable boyshorts.  I can never have enough, and I never feel like I have enough.  I picked up a three pack of these lacy numbers at Target this Saturday, and they’re truly amazing.  They stay put, look adorable, and you don’t even feel them all day.  Top marks, I’m definitely stocking up!

God damn you, Crocs, and your Croccy croslite material.  Every time I get away from your cloudlike shoes, you draw me back in with something.  First my sister bought me the Athens sandals, which are sleekish and super wearable.  And now this.  Slim little toe-cleavage baring Mary-frickin-janes.  That don’t need socks.  That can go in the dishwasher!  I’ve been wearing maryjanes since I was three.  Stop targeting me, Crocs!

I mean, the main focus of this site is doing what feels good.  And they feel good, and that’s enough, right?  Right?  Are they gonna revoke my FIT degree?