I wannnnt. I’ve been slaving away on this Dell for 7 months, and it feels like 7 years. I miss Mac every day.
Red is my color. It just works for me. If I wear it, people compliment me. I need my next computer to be red. Must have. In truth, just a Mac would be an upgrade, but what’s the point of waannnnnt if I can’t breathe it out into the Twittersphere?
Oh, I have a point. I like it too because it reminds me of snow white. And the color? Candy Apple.
I’m a little late in the game here (I blogged about it in a timely fashion though) but I DVRed all the eps of Pitchmen on Discovery and I think out of all the recent celebrity deaths, Billy Mays is the saddest. I have the absolute utmost respect for people who work their way up without school (Mays cut his sales teeth on the Atlantic City boardwalk, how hardcore is that?)
It also really makes me sad when someone who’s on the precipice of something even bigger dies. With the success of Pitchmen I think that Billy could have had a super long career, and that one of the best things about Billy was his ability to make fun of himself. I saw these vids on Consumerist, and this one in particular was a real gem.
If you believe in an afterlife, you have to think this dude talked his way past St. Peter…
How can two things I love combine to create something so horrifying? Via Hack a Day comes this terrifying device that won’t be going anywhere near my Magic Powdered lady garden. Ouch!
[ani niow] built this steam powered vibrator. it has a milled stainless steel shell with a brass motor structure. the motor is a tesla turbine made from a stack of dremel diamond cutoff wheels. this drives an off-center weight to create the vibration. she tested it using a pressure cooker as the steam source. it worked, but became so hot it had to be held using welding gloves. it works just as well with compressed air though.
I have a well-documented addiction to Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, and I’m convinced if mother nature made milk it would taste like that. It’s the most delicious fizzy beverage known to mankind today.
I also wear red lipstick. And I hate stuff floating in my drink like those gross grease slicks that come from pizza. Ew.
I was pretty jazzed to find these fancy glass reusable straws with carry-cases today. Glass would certainly feel nicer to drink from than that flimsy plastic that sometimes get holes and ruins your entire soda drinking experience. Totally want.
Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, this is the most amazing hookah pipe I’ve ever laid eyes on. Sleek. Silvery. Grown up. Portable. A conversation piece. Tiny, manageable, and comes standard with two mouthpieces. Like for a date. A sexy date. How lovely… From the site:
But that’s not all, it also comes with an elegant and beautiful carrying bag so you can take it with you to the next dinner party you are invited to and show off your cool. In any case, here’s some tech info you might find relevant and convincing, in case the gorgeous design hasn’t won you over yet:
Body and handle of narghile in solid polished pewter, brilliant nish-Burner made of hi-tech ceramic. Pipe made of aeronautical polyamide treated with Te on.
2 mouthpieces made of culinary standard nacrine (i.e. synthetic mother-of-pearl).
This sexy spherical gadget is billed as good for couples- with a certain focus I can see that as the case. However, the sleek, smooth curve also seems ideal for the intended purpose. Plus, it looks quite portable and pretty stealthy if you’ve gotta take it abroad.
Smoking- In addition to my beloved Djarums, I am also digging these weird Springwater cigs. Smoking is so underrated.
Trader Joe’s- It’s like someone hosed the place down in awesome and win. Tarte d’Alsace and some two buck Chuck makes you almost feel not-poor for like, fifteen whole minutes. Truffles for under $3. Real instant mash. Natural beauty supplies. If only they added house brand valium and vicodin and staffed it with teenage brits, I’d never leave.
Queer as Folk reruns on Logo- anyone who hates on touchy touchy boylove needs to watch Brian and Justin dancing at the prom. I can’t think of anything more romantic in the history of romance ever.
My imaginary boyfriend- is he real? Even I’m not sure anymore but I’ve still never seen anyone cuter. If I’m remembering right.
Leading me to…
Hitachi Magic Wand- It’s just so powerful, I might have to tell my roommates I use it for old car accident injuries. Every time Boondock Saints is on, my back just starts acting up. Especially during the outtakes.
Leisurewear- It’s gotten to the point where my one career goal is to be able to wear sexy sweats and sleek sneakers. Career garb is so awful in so many ways, it always feels dirty.
Jay-Z’s American Gangster- I think this album is gonna give The Black Album a serious run for its money in the long-term. Yeah, I said it. Fucking genius, this is.
On Demand Programming- why can’t the fuckwits who are responsible for cable make one that fucking works already? I’m paying $3 a month, and I want to watch Hookers at the Point for the sixteenth time. Damn you, iO.
My car- Newark is so fucking weird- I can leave my easy-to-park-in space and be in the Holland Tunnel in ten minutes. You can’t even get from Tillary Street to the Manhattan Bridge in that amount of time, who knew? Anyway, driving stick in Jersey traffic is scary, but now I have a Beetle again.
Scrabulous- Eamon playing “VAGINA” for twelve points, shocking only that it came two whole plays into the game.
Burger King pranking customers- you mean other than serving them Burger King food?
My toddler versus my prized possessions- this pint-sized terrorist has a knack for destroying electronics and media in seconds, while you’re just trying to form the “nuh” in “no.” Then she manages to turn on the waterworks and make you feel guilty.
Jack White- sexy, cheeky, mysterious, and tall. Considering all that and the hair, I’d marry him like, right this second.
Okay, so I haven’t posted since last Thursday. It’s been a busy couple of units of time. I had to move out of my apartment, on pretty short notice at that. It takes forfuckingever to find a place in the naked city, and after a few eh experiences, I found a commune in Newark to move to. So most of my time has been spent singing kum-ba-yah, smoking pot, and arguing over whose cruelty-free tofu burgers are in whose freezer. I’m kidding, you can totally get in trouble for saying stuff like that on your blog nowadays. And besides, would I eat a tofu burger? And it’s actually sort of co-housing, not a commune. In Newark of all places.
So living in a commune loft is actually pretty cool. It’s mostly boys, so there are no estrogen fueled hysterics. Plus, it’s a cool old converted factory, so I get to build all up in it. And I can rollerskate here. Some things that make co-housing situations overall better, IMHO- or, my loot:
Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, this is 
