When I was addicted to smutty HP fanfic, I realized a lot of things about men, women and porn.

Women consume porn just as voraciously as men, but when I queried my male friends about porn, they all seemed to have the same habits, all visual. “I like pregnant women.” “Ghetto asses.” “A sex act best described by the chorus of a saucily named Beatles song.” You know the one. Use your imagination.

But female porn, mainly erotica, seems to be so different because the provocative part is in emotion. Women aren’t getting off on pics of a guy getting off in someone’s hair, it’s more like on a woman vacillating at a very handsome, troubled half-werewolf that turns our cranks.

Which is why the iPhone kindle app is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can get limitless girl porn, and some of it’s free. Waiting too long for the new Sookie Stackhouse novel to hit my iPhone, I discovered the emoporntastic Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost. I plowed through the four of them like a blood-starved half-vampire, and now I’m hunting again. If only it were as easy as “milk milf tits site:rapidshare.com” for us. Women get the short end of the stick here!

Did you watch True Blood tonight? OMG awesome.

I know it’s a total departure from the books but it’s still awesome. I loved Lafayette’s speech (if I got a Jew’s chance at a Al-Qaeda rally o’ gettin’ outta here…) and Eric and Bill being gay for each other at the mall and Maryann inspiring an orgy! This is gonna be so good!

Sam’s being a total bitch this season though. I wonder what his deal’s gonna be.

OMG I can’t wait for episode three.

During my extended hiatus, I got totally addicted to True Blood. Like, fixated and obsessed. And part of what’s so damn compelling about that show is merely Alexander Skarsgard. I would be on that like white on rice.

Via Loving True Blood in Dallas, the most stunning animated GIF of all time.