I have a well-documented addiction to Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, and I’m convinced if mother nature made milk it would taste like that. It’s the most delicious fizzy beverage known to mankind today.

I also wear red lipstick. And I hate stuff floating in my drink like those gross grease slicks that come from pizza. Ew.

I was pretty jazzed to find these fancy glass reusable straws with carry-cases today. Glass would certainly feel nicer to drink from than that flimsy plastic that sometimes get holes and ruins your entire soda drinking experience. Totally want.

• Smoking- In addition to my beloved Djarums, I am also digging these weird Springwater cigs. Smoking is so underrated.

• Trader Joe’s- It’s like someone hosed the place down in awesome and win. Tarte d’Alsace and some two buck Chuck makes you almost feel not-poor for like, fifteen whole minutes. Truffles for under $3. Real instant mash. Natural beauty supplies. If only they added house brand valium and vicodin and staffed it with teenage brits, I’d never leave.

• Queer as Folk reruns on Logo- anyone who hates on touchy touchy boylove needs to watch Brian and Justin dancing at the prom. I can’t think of anything more romantic in the history of romance ever.

• My imaginary boyfriend- is he real? Even I’m not sure anymore but I’ve still never seen anyone cuter. If I’m remembering right.

Leading me to…

• Hitachi Magic Wand- It’s just so powerful, I might have to tell my roommates I use it for old car accident injuries. Every time Boondock Saints is on, my back just starts acting up. Especially during the outtakes.

• Jesus Christ it’s a lion, get in the car! Please, God, let the internets stop producing memes so I can get some sleep.

• Leisurewear- It’s gotten to the point where my one career goal is to be able to wear sexy sweats and sleek sneakers. Career garb is so awful in so many ways, it always feels dirty.

• Jay-Z’s American Gangster- I think this album is gonna give The Black Album a serious run for its money in the long-term. Yeah, I said it. Fucking genius, this is.

• On Demand Programming- why can’t the fuckwits who are responsible for cable make one that fucking works already? I’m paying $3 a month, and I want to watch Hookers at the Point for the sixteenth time. Damn you, iO.

• My car- Newark is so fucking weird- I can leave my easy-to-park-in space and be in the Holland Tunnel in ten minutes. You can’t even get from Tillary Street to the Manhattan Bridge in that amount of time, who knew? Anyway, driving stick in Jersey traffic is scary, but now I have a Beetle again.

• Scrabulous- Eamon playing “VAGINA” for twelve points, shocking only that it came two whole plays into the game.

• Burger King pranking customers- you mean other than serving them Burger King food?

• My toddler versus my prized possessions- this pint-sized terrorist has a knack for destroying electronics and media in seconds, while you’re just trying to form the “nuh” in “no.” Then she manages to turn on the waterworks and make you feel guilty.

• Jack White- sexy, cheeky, mysterious, and tall. Considering all that and the hair, I’d marry him like, right this second.

Does anyone else wanna smack someone when they see that?  If you’ve borne a child at any point in your life, it should be illegal to call you a slacker, ever.  But lots of mommies still love their vices, as evidenced by this cute kids’ tee.

NYT via Lifehacker- decent wines under $10!

Casa Cadaval Portugal Ribatejano , $8.99, ***
Domaine de l’Ameillaud France , $9, ** ½
Viña Gormaz Spain Ribera del Duero , $9, **
Georges Duboeuf France , $9, **
Altas Cumbres Argentina Mendoza , $9, **
Wyatt California Cabernet Sauvignon 2005 , $10, **
J. Vidal-Fleury France , $10, **
Domaine Monte de Luz , $7, **
Ravenswood California Vintner’s Blend , $10, **
Paringa , $9, * ½

you know you need one.  I can’t talk, I order in like, three meals a day.

I like coffee weirdly. Well, many people like iced coffee. I’ll drink it iced but I don’t care much as long as it’s not hot. I like espresso-strength coffee. I don’t like supermarkety stuff like Folger’s because it’s Vietnamese coffee and too acidic and watery and stupid tasting. I like enough of it that it takes a while to drink.

I would generally get a “ghetto latte” from Starbucks or a Dunkin’ Donuts latte if I was lazy. But it was a pain to get and I really wanted the power to have coffee without leaving my house. My excellent boss Jennifer gave me an amazing FrancisFrancis in super-cool orange but I am superstitious about setting it up til I move.

Anyway, I found this awesome stuff (N.O. Brew) whilst surfing Amazon. I ordered some after a week and a half of waffling and It. Is. Awesome. Perfect coffee. Cans of coffee have tons of thickeners and other weirdness in them- this is just perfect, perfect, perfect. Mixed with milk, it tastes fresh and real and perfect. And it lasts for like 3 weeks in the fridge.

But now I need the perfect thermos. >Sigh<

ETA: Ghetto Lattes on Wikipedia!

I’m much more of a smoker than a drinker, but we all need like to get our drunk on sometimes.  This sleek kit has everything you need to make drinks but the booze.  OMG, hotel party!

Wanna drink so much you need a fountain to decant it?  If you’re not lucky enough to have Europeans to smuggle absinthe over for you, I imagine you can decant any drink from this gorgeous piece.  It’s like, the gift that always fits!

I am just getting my socialization on this weekend in a hardcore way.  I:

1. Celebrated my main gay’s 21st birthday;
2. Met my Snopes friends and got sassed by an inattentive waiter (by proxy);
3. And have a date at the Waldorf-Astoria tomorrow.

I sincerely hope to be back in one piece on Monday.

It’s come to my attention that the bar of my youth, of drunken Seanchai gigs and late-night cider swilling, is closed or closing. I met my ex-husband there, and countless bad boy blow-ins from Belfast before that. The best bar in New York City, driven out by skyrocketing rents.

The good news is- and this is excellent news- it’s moving to Red Hook. Aw, yeah!

Still, raise a glass. It’s as good a reason as any. >cue sad montage music<