I wannnnt. I’ve been slaving away on this Dell for 7 months, and it feels like 7 years. I miss Mac every day.
Red is my color. It just works for me. If I wear it, people compliment me. I need my next computer to be red. Must have. In truth, just a Mac would be an upgrade, but what’s the point of waannnnnt if I can’t breathe it out into the Twittersphere?
Oh, I have a point. I like it too because it reminds me of snow white. And the color? Candy Apple.
I don’t nearly hold up to my old three posts a day and two on weekends schedule as much, sorry three readers.
Nowadays, pretty much the Inquisitr gets all my words, and often at the end of the day I have not a word to spare, not even to converse with my family, friends or the man who is ringing up my slurpee, for shame.
One reason I didn’t post for a bit, too, was that my kitten died. Her name was Delilah. She was 7 months old. She escaped out the front door or a window when I was showering and not ten minutes later, we found her dying in the street. We rushed her to the ER vet, on Election Day night, but they were unable to save her. I do like to think that when I picked her up and placed her in the red crate with a little blanket for transport that she could see me when she opened her eyes.
So why am I posting this? Because for some odd reason, Google searches in the Femme Dangereuse household that week skyrocketed around all manner of kitten death, cats getting hit by cars, whether cats should stay inside, and how long it would take to get over the death of a kitten. Getting a new cat didn’t help- she’s not my Delilah and I don’t like her as much. (My kids do.) But anyway, I just wanted my sad little post to come up for someone who may need to know that it’s okay to feel like a person died when your cat died. This is about as bitched up as I get, so cuddle up to this post when you need some love from me ’cause it’s all you’re getting, candy ass.
I always hated internet cat people. What a bunch of losers. I hate looking at pictures of peoples’ cats and I really don’t get the overall cat worship. But my kitten was special, damnit, and I’m not one of those people. All day long when I worked she would sit on my feet. She slept in my bed and brought me things and cried and didn’t eat when we went to Bird-in-Hand for two days. I hate that she was a special, smart and lovely cat and she only got to be here for seven months. She deserved a long life and because my stupid house doesn’t have one functional screen, she died.
I couldn’t break ground with my piddly little square shovel, and marauding dogs next door raised concerns about grave robbery. We buried Delilah at sea in my hometown of Babylon, by the pool:
And below, some of my favorite shots of Delilah, since she deserves a memorial:
When I was addicted to smutty HP fanfic, I realized a lot of things about men, women and porn.
Women consume porn just as voraciously as men, but when I queried my male friends about porn, they all seemed to have the same habits, all visual. “I like pregnant women.” “Ghetto asses.” “A sex act best described by the chorus of a saucily named Beatles song.” You know the one. Use your imagination.
But female porn, mainly erotica, seems to be so different because the provocative part is in emotion. Women aren’t getting off on pics of a guy getting off in someone’s hair, it’s more like on a woman vacillating at a very handsome, troubled half-werewolf that turns our cranks.
Which is why the iPhone kindle app is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can get limitless girl porn, and some of it’s free. Waiting too long for the new Sookie Stackhouse novel to hit my iPhone, I discovered the emoporntastic Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost. I plowed through the four of them like a blood-starved half-vampire, and now I’m hunting again. If only it were as easy as “milk milf tits site:rapidshare.com” for us. Women get the short end of the stick here!
I’m a little late in the game here (I blogged about it in a timely fashion though) but I DVRed all the eps of Pitchmen on Discovery and I think out of all the recent celebrity deaths, Billy Mays is the saddest. I have the absolute utmost respect for people who work their way up without school (Mays cut his sales teeth on the Atlantic City boardwalk, how hardcore is that?)
It also really makes me sad when someone who’s on the precipice of something even bigger dies. With the success of Pitchmen I think that Billy could have had a super long career, and that one of the best things about Billy was his ability to make fun of himself. I saw these vids on Consumerist, and this one in particular was a real gem.
If you believe in an afterlife, you have to think this dude talked his way past St. Peter…
How can two things I love combine to create something so horrifying? Via Hack a Day comes this terrifying device that won’t be going anywhere near my Magic Powdered lady garden. Ouch!
[ani niow] built this steam powered vibrator. it has a milled stainless steel shell with a brass motor structure. the motor is a tesla turbine made from a stack of dremel diamond cutoff wheels. this drives an off-center weight to create the vibration. she tested it using a pressure cooker as the steam source. it worked, but became so hot it had to be held using welding gloves. it works just as well with compressed air though.
I know it’s a total departure from the books but it’s still awesome. I loved Lafayette’s speech (if I got a Jew’s chance at a Al-Qaeda rally o’ gettin’ outta here…) and Eric and Bill being gay for each other at the mall and Maryann inspiring an orgy! This is gonna be so good!
Sam’s being a total bitch this season though. I wonder what his deal’s gonna be.
Hey, I’m gonna say right off the bat, I don’t like schools. I don’t like em, and I don’t trust em. My kids were happily enrolled in the Teddy McArdle Free School for a year and I can honestly say that it was the only year in all of their schooling they learned anything. They were excited to go to school. Mornings weren’t a struggle. They never played sick. They were excited to learn. The staff was there SOLELY BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE and didn’t just want summers off.
Now, not only do I have to fight the kids to get them to school, I have to fight the school for info. Kids lose stuff easily and schools get mad at parents for this inconvenient factoid. It’s a general household stressor and I really, really disagree with public schooling in general.
>steps off soapbox<
However, as we are bound by state law to utilize them, why the hell aren’t they publishing school calendars online? I urge all of my five readers to go sign up RIGHT NOW like in the Sleep Number bed commercials to get their school into the twenty-first century. And never be surprised by another field day ever again.
